Monday, July 28, 2003 11:34 a.m.
do not disturb me please. arghz


Sunday, July 20, 2003 12:59 a.m.
how hideous can ppl get?

click.
Tuesday, July 8, 2003 10:57 p.m.
link.click




what am i doing?
Tuesday, July 8, 2003 12:12 a.m.
arghz damn late already. im still not in bed.. school uniform not ironed yet. what have i been doing the whole day? this really baffles me. well at least i have been trying hard to modify my blog template. yes i hope this little achievement will bring me sweet dreams tonight. haha.. this sounds stupid. anyway, hahs. exco interviews are on wednesday. i really am at loss.. dont know what will happen on that day. i guess i'll leave this panicking till tomorrow. i shall catch my beauty sleep now..
i think its really a little confusing for me to keep switching between livejournal(www.livejournal.com/users/shiyan_) and pitas
okay i guess i shall figure out a way to like.. manage my blogs.

future
Monday, July 7, 2003 04:31 p.m.
hmm.. shifting this to..

future
Monday, July 7, 2003 04:31 p.m.
hmm.. shifting this to..


Monday, June 9, 2003 11:48 p.m.
escapology.


rotted at home on Monday, April 7, 2003 at exactly 11:59 a.m.
i really cant stand this page of mine. i cant think of ways to revamp it.sigh.


Sunday, March 23, 2003 10:05 p.m.
tmr's a new sch day in a new sch.


Thursday, March 20, 2003 12:08 a.m.
sobs. Please let there be peace?

peace.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003 12:38 a.m.
German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder made a televised speech saying whatever the threat posed by Iraq, it did not justify the deaths of innocent men, women and children who would be killed in a conflict

-cnn.com.

its really saddening.. I mean they wont be able to justify the deaths of these innocent people in the world, seriously if the war breaks out. I really really can't imagine what would happen. History's repeating itself? People are making foolish decisions, not wise ones. People are risking lifes, putting others to death. I mean, just think of the many millions out there who are not even involved in it. Why do people study so hard, work so hard for? Just to see their country in ruins and the world in chaos? sick. really sick.

confusion.
Saturday, March 8, 2003 2337hrs
sigh. i'm having problems with the choice of subject combinations. its really a tough decision to make coz i think this really affects my career in the future.. but ultimately i think i'll still be venturing into the faculty of arts and social sciences.. or even the business ad. fac.. so i'm kinda wondering why am i taking so many sciences when i'm poor in them. sigh. I actually dont know why i'm in science course too. but it isnt that bad to this extend i guess..i dont know i still is that blur about everything.. but i think i'm really ready to give this odd combi a try. coz the topics in geog are interesting..


Saturday, March 8, 2003 11:34 p.m.
i'm taking an odd combi.. ?! sigh. what should i choose. ;( feel so damn confused..


Tuesday, March 4, 2003 11:46 p.m.
i love energY!!


Tuesday, March 4, 2003 09:51 p.m.
whats the point of chatting online.. so many doubts. sometimes.. seeing one in person beats chatting online..

biscuits.
Monday, March 3, 2003 2343 hours
as i was eating a piece of raisin-biscuit i looked at it. noticed that only a little part of the whole biscuit had raisins on it. so i started eating the part with the raisin, and avoided those parts without the raisin coz i think it doesnt taste as well. before i knew it i finished chewing the raisin parts and i inserted my hand into the bottle to reach out for another piece of raisin-biscuit, without realising i havent even finish eating the other piece of raisin-biscuit. i merely finished the raisin parts. but here am i, reaching out for another piece of biscuit, and eyeing for the raisins on the other biscuit.

i mean, what i'm trying to reflect here. human behaviour. Or is it just me? i dont know, well. but i found it kinda interesting. so . gotta note it. point of information: its the raisin biscuit from khong guan. okay so as i'm typing i took another piece of biscuit, this time i unknowingly looked for a piece with a lot of raisins on it. because i only love the ones with raisins on it. i the part without raisins, tastes really bland. though its still made from the same ingredient. does this mean that humans crave for more without even realising what he has is already enough, or even, more than enough. i heard from the fm just now, " if you're able to find some coins on the table in your room, your wallet, or even a few bucks in your bank account, you're more blessed than a million people out there" often we dont realise this. we grumble when we're left with little money, we want more. (yeah, human-wants.)

i dont really know what to say about the biscuit incident but i definitely know it rings a bell in most of us. its easy to type all i want here, telling people what is right, what is wrong. but its often hard to put it to practice, isnt it. it takes a high level of discipline and self-awareness to do it. though we cant be sure we are perfect, we can be sure we're trying our best, at least.

best and the least, two contradicting words, but contrasts well.

food for thought.
Monday, March 3, 2003 11:00 p.m.
yay. i'm back from my auntz house.. just got a really nice news from one of my special frenz.. jq.. he's succeeded and i'm real glad for him..yes. really very very happy.. though i mean, i'm not the one directly involved but i'm glad his hardwork paid off. hee. ;) 03032003. nice date for a memory..lol. 20032003 is even nicer right.. i wonder what more joyous stuffs are going to happen that day.. today is a day of happiness.. love. lotsa couples got married today..happy for em too.. coz they're helping to solve the problem of marriage at later ages.. haha. or even, low birth rate. lol~ i mean. okay.. what a nice weather it is today..haha.

okay i'm getting a little more crappy today.. chatted with jq for like 50mins on the phone just now and i found out a lot of stuffs for mysself.. for the benefit of myself. well, luckily i havent bought the jigsaw puzzle.. lol. *only i will know what i'm talking about here..coz no one knows. anyway.. yah.. i wanted to put together a few hundred pieces of jigsaw at first.. for a birthday present for my friend. sigh. thn i thought it might be too much coz i aint very close with him. so i just decided to give him something simple, in order to prevent ppl from like, thinking otherwise.. anyway why should i care what other people says as long as i'm clear of what i'm doing.. ?

hmm. i guess i've been too loose with my feelings. maybe, too friendly at certain times.. this is what i feel.. maybe i'm just trying to refrain myself from sinking too deep and getting hurt, without a reason to be so. i hope i wont be that naive anymore..coz not everyone out there is as nice as they seem to be. so always be on my guard. the world is not safe anymore.. it seems to me that most guys in the world are fickle, and they..judge people by appearance tell me who would go up to a disfigured girl walking on the streets to ask her for her number? i mean, they wouldnt even want to be friends with her, isnt that true? i dont understand why people can be so damn superficial at times. why? "i dont know why, dont ask me. " who is, but a mere online chatmate? what is, but a mere stupid infatuation?

i dont wish to admit the fact that i am, so superficial at times, but i'll be glad to be quick to realise my mistake and stop what i'm doing at the moment, think on the spot, how would you feel, if they ostracize you just because of your looks? why does the world depend on looks so much? I wonder what will happen some day, if i dont look what i am now, instead, i'm a hideous-looking monster, would anyone want to be friends with me? and include me in that so-called 'popular clique'? i guess this is food for thought. Something worth pondering over. Who can tell me right in my face i'm totally not a person like that. I ddoubt anyone can, because i'm very sure everyone, at certain point in life, has committed this grave mistake, of judging a book solely by its cover. I have. i know. but it'll now be "i had."

i dont know why i'm suddenly so into this issue.. maybe because certain places that i've been to really makes me fume, coz it really is a place, where looks, figure, popularity rules. i mean, i still cant comprehend this human behaviour, coz i am a human. dont dismiss this as crap, really, think over it, there might be some depths to it.

headache.
Sunday, March 2, 2003 12:33 a.m.
hmm.. having a huge headache over which jc to choose. i guess i'm really stuck in between lots of factors and shuucks. i dont like this joint admission exercise. its putting butter and cheese all over my head. which one should i choose to spread on my bread. hai.

man thisis really really a big big problem. seems everyone's so busy today to have a proper chat. sigh. mum's getting naggy coz i go online too damn often. i think i'll not be online for a short period of time.. just to tame her down for awhile. but for now i'm really veri confused. its difficult for me to make a choice now.. really. i wonder how did bec make up her mind so fast..hai. juz straight away, yes. she's staying. for me? i'm too fickle. just too fickle.

this coming scouts.n.guides camp sounds fun.. i'll be going back to help out yah.. and got myself a camp teeshirt as well. NJ, SA. who's what, who's who. Where's when? i really need advice now. but it seems i've made up my mind for the former.

gladly so.
Friday, February 28, 2003 11:51 p.m.
thanks i got ten points. thanks. i worked hard for it, i know. bec, you're something! *muaks*


Friday, February 28, 2003 10:47 a.m.
thanks for all those smses. really appreciated it. thanks to all those who cared..

no matter what, i've tried my best.
Friday, February 28, 2003 10:18 a.m.
tthis is my entry, before the o's are out. Just wanna let myself have an idea how i felt before the o' level results are out. BAsically i'm juz havin this mini-butterflies-in-stomach syndrome. sigh. i havent had breakfast.. this morning i woke up so early, when i slept at like, damn late 2am yesterday night. haii. i guess i still am, very very nervous. i cant calm down at this moment, but i can enjoy myself for a while by listening to some nice songs of my own collection..

no matter what happens later i believe, i've already tried my best for the exams.. if i really dont do well i cannot do anything.. who should i blame? myself? i've never thought of how well i'd fare.. coz i know myself. i wont shoot that high, i guess. yes i just that it as my best shot, and it'll prove to be so? right?

hai. i'm going crazy. really going crazy.. .. .. ..

and yes, good luck to bP later.. i'm running late.. gotta go and bathe, and head for bpghs. i guess i'll cry. maybe. pray for me, good luck, shiyan.


Friday, February 28, 2003 12:30 a.m.
okay now i look really ugly. with that new color. but i feel good inside coz i wont have to withstand the remarks of the other people anymore. sigh. i dont know why i still canot calm myself down at this moment. heart's racing and pacing.--> for what?

"the results are already fixed, no use pondering over it," some people may say. but i juz cant keep myself cool over this release of results tingie..;(

i juz got back from town and i had a great time juz now, laughing and giggling away in marche. i mean the 8 of us made a fool of ourselves, but it was mainly me and aihua, as usually.. i think everyone must be wondering what's this bunch of brats doing here making such a din. lol. its a special occasion.. happy birthday yap mama!(jieying) muaks. ("." *) hee

tmr.. sigh.sigh.sigh. wait for me to declare the results. i'll hafta msg lots of ppl about my results..

eureka.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003 2305hrs
i finally found something different between this pitas and my livejournal..
this place, is full of hope, i guess. at least if it might not be full, there're more. i was glancing thru my own lj and i found that there're lots of unhappy memories lingering in it. which makes me feel. hai. okay. maybe thats the place i cry my lungs out.

will anyone say he'll stand by me always.? i guess it seems hard. anyway i guess i can stand on my own, i dont need em. really. but it's always good to have someone. yes that seems really nice, but how many are lucky enough to have that? yes i give up. at least for now. i give up.

brother hasnt called back from camp yet, i wonder what he's doing.. range again? all those shooting and stuffs.. with the rifles sound intimidating. i wonder how he's coping now. by right i'd be offline coz he'd be calling home. mayb later? alright.

thoughts
Wednesday, February 26, 2003 2217hrs
okay i'm here to provide first hand commentatory about the bball match earlier on. i must admit i'm bad at this so pardon me.. okay in order not to bore this entry i shall summarize everything so sweetly : WE WON! haha. more chances of gettin into the finals already! this really makes me so happy. =) truely happy! i was like, screaming so much just now.. haha. back to my old-self. so easily-excitable, geez. but it was really really really so excitin. almost had heart attack --> okay thats crap

alrite.. its a nice feeling to taste victory. poor shuyi's got grape drink splashed on her skirt when she n a player bumped into one another outside the sports hall. lol. she's got this very cute 4ever frens bear keychain !! very nice!! i lurve it so much. lol~ but too bad. well~ i guess the pencil case that i left in the audi is no where to be found. sobs. i loved that 37D pencil case so muchz. sigh. and there's that keychain on it. that keychain. that both of us once shared. he has one too, blue one. mine's the pink one.I guess that's something telling me.. its lost forever. Its not gonna be back to the same anymore. i reckon so. i'm not gonna be hopeful anyway.

hmm. i find it quite hard to main this pitas tingie and my livejournal at the same time.. but i have feelings for my journal already..so i cant possibly forsake my journal for this new webby thingie..so i decided to keep updating my journal. and this shall be juz a subset of my entire journal. hmm.. rather complicated.. but nvm~

sigh. really having butterflies in my stomach now. i cant imagine what'd happen if i dont do well.. what'd happen if i cant even maintain my current standard. what would happen? what what what what what. hai.

am i really thinking too much?


Wednesday, February 26, 2003 05:41 p.m.
hmm. friday's a very busy day. sigh.
1.) release of O'level results
2.) Energy's coming to HMV!!! and i've got the HMV pass.. but o's collection time is after 230! and me n 7 other buddies already made this pact last year that on the day of release of results we'd go n have pizzas together.. and the 1st,3rd,5th,and 7th by position among the eight will hafta treat all of us.. how? I want to watch energy perform. their dances are damn nice ya know? too bad two of em are injured. poor tingies. sigh.
3.) there's gonna be an exciting bball match btw BP and pioneer.. (heard from shahooz pioneer is not as strong? hmm nvtheless we can nv underestimate the opponent) hai. its at 1.45 and i dont want to miss it!!! ;( i think i wont be able to make it, so, good luck guys. =)
alright. these 3 humongous events are enough to make one's head reel. esp the long-awaited release of o'level results. actually all 3 are very important to me! ;( gotta make a choice, and obviously i have to go back to school to get my results, so what about the other 2?? hai. i dont wish to get my results. coz i know i'll cry.

alert.
Saturday, February 22, 2003 11:46 p.m.
intruder!! ningyuan spotted!

help!
Saturday, February 22, 2003 10:34 p.m.
i'm wondering how should i place this midi into my page.. *scatches head* i think i'm better off reading up for econs, since i aint getting anywhere. but its truly a joy to see this page changing for the better..lol. okay i juz updated my journal so that makes me idling online, coz my only task is done! bec i need helpp..!! lol~

very true, do ponder over it.
Saturday, February 22, 2003 08:57 p.m.
Never say I love you If you don't really care Never talk of feelings If they aren't really there Never hold my hand If you mean to break my heart Never say forever If you ever plan to part Never look into my eyes If you are telling me a lie Never say hello If you think you'll say goodbye Never say that I'm THE one If you dream of more than me Never lock up my heart If you don't have the key

pioneer
Friday, February 21, 2003 2327 hrs
i dont really know how this thing works actually..